This podcast episode “Commenting on Social Media Posts” first aired on Kat Santiago PH Facebook page on September 9, 2022.
We get triggered almost every day by what we see and read online. Sometimes can’t help it, we keep commenting on social media posts. We get triggered either by the post or the comments that we see on that particular post.
Ang tanong: ano ang mga posts kung saan nati-trigger ka at hindi mo mapigilang mag comment? Posts ba patungkol sa pulitika? Economy? Senyora’s posts? Mga teleserye?
The social media has changed our lives. From simpleng Marites sa kanto na tambay at alam ang latest showbiz and kapitbahay happenings, we went digital. Marami na ang degree holders. Bachelor in arts of Marites, Major in gossip and triggers.
Lack of Empathy
Alam ninyo, what made me decide to talk about this topic tonight is a post from Super Momma. Hello mommy Ning! Ayan, if you haven’t followed her yet, visit her page Super Momma here on Facebook.
Mommy Ning has this post about her and her husband and it was a very thoughtful post, authentic, humorous, pero realidad. However, may ilan-ilang tao na hindi na-grasp yung gusto iparating ni Mommy Ning sa post and may mga naging Karen sa comment section. If you don’t know what a Karen is, in the US, Karen ang tawag nila sa taong white woman who is entitled and demanding beyond the scope of normal.
Reading the comments, partly I was amused. But a bigger part of me feels sorry for these people. Not only because their comprehension left the earth but because they do not have enough understanding and empathy before they open their mouth. Or in this case, before they typed their responses.
How many times have we seen people on social media commenting rude, inappropriate, and self-righteous messages? Ang dami di ba?
These comments you find them everywhere. And I mean everywhere. From news to sports to pets, parenting, and relationships. Even a post about a harmless item you bought in Shopee may get these negative comments.
So what does this say about the society we are living in?
We, adults, are making this world smaller and harder to live in. Personally, these negativities are draining. Yung minsan ka na nga lang magscroll sa Facebook or watch sa YouTube or instagram, Tiktok, and you get to encounter these.
I don’t want to call them trolls, that’s an insult to the trolls. These people are broken. That’s how I want to classify them. BROKEN.
Let me read these quotes and let me know how they resonate with you:
Hurt people hurt people.
People hurt others as a result of their own inner strife and pain.Will Bowen
People who love themselves, don’t hurt other people. The more we hate ourselves, the more we want others to suffer.Dan Pearce
Nag-a-agree ba kayo dito, ladies?
People manipulate out of their brokenness. Yung reactions nila sa mga posts, yung mga comments nila, these stem from past experiences that led them to certain beliefs that they accepted as truth.
May mga taong nagko comment, who in their defense, just want to mean well pero nagiging too preachy na. Yung alam na lang nila is their version of the truth. They believe na kung ano yung opinion nila ang tama na what the others would say do not matter.
Yung iba naman, ang tatapang sa comments. Grabe. Akala mo matatapang pag personal na kausap. LOL. Di ba? Sa socmed lang naman matapang. Tiklop naman pag kausap ka na.
Other people just type their comments and reactions to project their preconceived ideas to protect their egos. Naghahanap ng validation. Naghahanap ng kakampi. Naghahanap ng maga-agree sa kanila. A typical behavior from people who are hurting is that they want to feel better. They do these things until their ego is gratified. That feeling of the ego being filled up enables them to feel positive about themselves.
These broken people don’t truly want to hurt us.
But their brokenness can change our moods. Their comments may make us angry or revengeful – it makes us want to give them a piece of their own medicine. Ako aminado ako, lalo na in my younger years, I like proving to others that I am right. Lalo na pag may nag-demean saken, nanliit or something. It is our nature to fight back.
How Can We Make it Better?
Now, how can we help the world be better?
Kapag alam mo sa sarili mo na nati-trigger ka to comment on a post that is not the same as your belief, make it a habit to scroll up. Kapag first 2 sentences nabasa mo and you felt na, hey, wait, this is going to trigger me. Stop reading. And scroll up. Huwag mo balikan or hanapin yung post.
Wag Ka na Sumawsaw sa Usapan.
What do I mean? Nakabasa ka ng post, may nag comment. Hindi mo nagustuhan ang comment, kaya nagreply ka sa comment ng isang broken person who left those rude words. I know you want to teach this person a lesson, and I know you want to help out. If this will make you angry and will affect your mental state, STOP.
Do not reply.
Let it pass.
Passing and not stressing your point is not a sign of cowardice nor does it mean na pag-tanggap nung idea nung unang nag comment. Guys, these are strangers. Hindi natin sila kamag-anak na we can call or go to para makausap ng personal. Remember the second tip. Wag ka makisawsaw.
Talk to Them Personally
If this person who posted is a personal friend or family and you do not agree with his/her post, talk to them personally. Talk to them in a safe and supportive environment. Ask questions. Try to understand their feelings and why they acted that way or posted that.
Remove Yourself From Social Media
Kung lagi kang triggered and you make comments that may be demeaning and self-righteous, get off line. You need to work on yourself better. Tanungin mo ang sarili mo, “bakit ba ako masyadong affected sa mga ito at lagi akong nagko comment just to stress my point?”
Just a Mirror
People who are hurting often don’t love themselves enough, so they look for love and approval from others. In addition, hurt people try to manipulate others. And they are waiting to see how others will react.
It is not about you: their comments, their posts.
It’s just a mirror of how they are inside.
Hopefully, we can have a little more understanding of these people. And not be like those who hurt others through words.
Ladies, if you love yourself, you will naturally want the world to feel they are loved and that they are respected.